Dearest Dev,

Please accept my
Aganit Vandans filled with Love.
Aganit Charan sparsh filled with Love.
Aganit Heartbeats filled with Gratitude,
Aganit Charan Pakshaals with tears of Love,

Dearest Dev, there was a time i had multiple group of friends am listing them as below with a careful estimate…
035 – First Circle
050 – Gujju friends
070 – School friends,
030 – Engineering friends,
030 – Neighbourhood friends
100 – MBA & USA friends,
150 – International friends,
100 – Business friends,
150 – Social friends,
150 – Professional friends,
100 – Spiritual friends
150 – Customer friends
150 – Relative friends
1,270 – Total (+/- 10%)

myDev, i had, many close friends, many dear friends, many near friends and many regular friends, family friends, after You graced, laced and touched my life, everything & everyone dissolved, disappeared, diluted, deleted, departed or distanced.

Dearest Dev, over the 180 million breaths taken in this birth, the most cherished, most treasured, most happy, most invaluable, most precious, most awesome have indeed been the ones with ‘You’ in them.

Now there is only one connection ‘You’.

******

Recently, i was asked to write, what is my biggest fear of death ?

i didn’t have to ponder, i didn’t have to wonder, i didn’t even have to wander, i just repeated the question and my heart instantly replied from under…

if i die now, my biggest fear is that, i haven’t done enough to return my Gurudev’s Love.

my biggest question is, have i ensured to be with Him once again?

my biggest fear is, have i done enough to ensure the whole world knows, sees & feels His Grace?

my biggest fear is, will i see Him ever again ?

my biggest fear is, if i die, i will not be able to love Him more and more and more, anymore.

my biggest, highest, largest, huge-est, fear is, i will not see His Smile again, this one will be my deepest miss.
i am ok to loose everything,
i am ok to be anywhere else,
i am ok to miss everything else,
i am ok to be deep down or far far away,
i just need to be able to see myDev’s smile, with that in place i am ok with everything and anything else misplaced.

for me, myDev’s Grace is all prevailing, all prevading, all pervasive, all penetrating, all availing, all enshrining, all enabling, all energising, all visualising, all imbibing, all clensing, all enlightening, all dissolving, all resolving, all erasing, all in all everything.

******

In any birth, once i take the first step towards Him, in all sincerity, i know that….

my fate is sealed,
my slate is cleaned,
my sadhana is recast,
my inner joy is revived,
my drashti gets refined,
my karmas are resolved,
my pathway is realigned,
my vruttis are restrained,
my existence is rebooted,
my inner work is resumed,
my bhakti gets reassured,
my shakti gets recharged,
my life paradise is regained,
my raag-dwesh are resolved,
my rebirth cycle is restricted,
my true progress is resumed,
my kalyaan deep dive is restored,
my seat in Graceland is reserved,

Thank You.
Thank You.
Thank You.